Bewritings

Something I have struggled with since entering the world of work is feeling stagnant. Remaining dedicated to my new job whilst not being able to socialise with friends that are either spread throughout the country or busy working, has led to a pretty rigid routine.  

Whilst studying at university, my schedule was so flexible. Every day was different, and it was rare to go a week without trying something new. In a new city, which in its own right is incredibly diverse, with new people and few daily responsibilities is how I spent the last two years.  

Post-uni, I find the weeks pass by scarily quick, and sometimes I struggle to recall specific things I did over the past seven days. Work from home, commute to office, work from home, commute to office, weekend and repeat. I do not want to imply I am unhappy; I love where I currently am. I enjoy work, I am spending more time with old friends, and I generally feel content. But it has been too easy to slip into a sort of “autopilot.” My routine is so predictable I no longer think about how I am going to spend my day. I just go through the motions.  

Now, I am aware that this is what adult life entails, I am not naïve. I always knew I would not stay in the rose-tinted glow of university forever. I was just surprised how quickly I settled into my new routine. In a lot of ways, this is a good thing. I have adjusted. I have adjusted well, especially considering how worried I was to leave university behind. But I do think you can be content whilst missing a little bit of spontaneity.

Stability is a great thing, ironically it is something I rely on a lot. I hate change. The sort of spontaneity I am talking about is not booking a flight on a whim or performing a terrible haircut (I tried it once, never again!) It is simple things; trying a new restaurant, walking a different way home or even spending the day alone to explore somewhere new. I am not searching for anything flashy, anyone who knows me knows how particular I am. I like controlled spontaneity. (Is that even a thing?) Just simple ways I can divert from my normal routine.

I think this is why it has been so easy for me to go into “autopilot.” On a scale of 1 to 10, I score about a 3 for spontaneity at the best of times. Now, I would rank myself at about 0.7. But this equally means it should be relatively easy to reintroduce an appropriate level of excitement to my day-to-day life. Not too much, just a little.

Curious to see if anyone else feels this way, I did a quick Google search of “finding spontienity in the everyday.” (My spelling is pretty hit or miss.) I found a quote from a Quora user that I really resonated with:

“Spontaneous, doesn’t mean to do something different every day. The key is to keep our awareness open every second.” 

Being open to any opportunity, no matter how small, is something I am usually very good at. It is what I have lost somewhat over the last few months. Many of us know about seeing the beauty in the everyday, but what about the excitement in the everyday? 

A lot of media presents spontaneity as akin to happiness, freedom even. I can practically see Julia Roberts in Eat, Pray, Love right now. You can find articles headlines resembling: “3 Reasons Why Spontaneity Improves Your Mental Health”, which I do agree with. But, beneath that, I think it is actually open-mindedness and gratitude that wellbeing. Simply being open to seeing any opportunities, and understanding how much choice you have day-to-day, invites a lot of gratitude and clarity.

I may not be able to drop everything and fly to Bali, or pop to my favourite Brighton cocktail bar, but I still have so much agency. I can stay in the city after work to explore, I can go somewhere different for lunch, I can plan a catch-up with friends. Regardless of my responsibilities, being on “autopilot” is such a waste.  

I think the key is being open to question things. With any tasks that seem mundane and “set in stone” I would like to ask myself; how could I change it up? Do I like how it is now? Do I want to do things differently? Not changing my routine for the sake of it, just actively thinking if I have to do it identically.  

Beyond that, being open to question my routine. If I am offered something, if I am interested, say YES! Routines give us structure, stability, but they should not limit us. My new year’s resolution for 2024 is to be more open to saying yes. Instead of “but I need to do X this weekend…” or “I don’t know if I have enough time for Y…”, I am going to take a step back. Am I just assuming I do not have time? Instead of being passive and accepting my routine, I want to make my routine work for me. Stable but not stagnant.